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Divorced or Separated

Reflection 123: “In trying to create stability for myself, I’d eliminated the possibility for change and vitality and felt trapped.”

B is 31 and lives in California. Why did you decide to get married? My boyfriend and I dated for about four years before we got engaged.  I had moved from New York to Massachusetts with him when he started law school, and we felt like we were great companions.  I knew I wanted a … Continue reading


Reflection 122: “The main thing that’s shaped my thoughts about marriage is a desire not to emulate my parents’ marriage.”

E is 25 and lives in Auckland, New Zealand Why did you decide to get married?  These days there aren’t really any legal benefits left to marriage. For me, it signified a deeper emotional commitment – saying that yes, I’m in this for the long run. That’s not really a small undertaking, either – even … Continue reading


Reflection 119: “I’d never thought about the idea that a wedding and wife-dom could be this neat, Chuck Taylors, punk rock, noisy, messy, kooky weirdo thing that fit you.”

Kathy is 31 and lives in Brooklyn.   Why are you choosing to get married? For me, the motivating emotion behind the choice to get married is gratitude.  I am thankful that I found Sam and thankful that we’ve built a fun life together.  I see marriage as a promise to remain grateful, or at … Continue reading